If you’re anything like me, you’ll still be laughing after reading this fantastic race report from Alan.

Enjoy..

What’s the difference between being a member of Belpark and not being a member? About 14 minutes in my experience. Allow me to explain. I did my first triathlon back in 2008 and have continued to do them since with a few mates. It was only after a slow, slow swim in the Dublin 70.3 last year (if it wasn’t for the wetsuit I’d probably still be out there) that I took the plunge and joined Belpark. Triathy 2016 was my first race in Belpark colours and having done the race in 2015 I thought it might offer some sort of benchmark on how much of a difference training with a club actually makes to race times.

And so it was I found myself in the sparkling metropolis of Athy at silly o’clock on the June bank holiday weekend. After the registration shambles of last year things seemed to move a bit better this year and with gear loaded we headed down to transition in Emily Square.

Wandering through transition I spot my arch nemesis and stroll over for a chat and ask him how the training has been going? “Nah mate”, he replies, “Not being doing much this year”. Of course I have it on good authority from a mutual friend that he’s been training like a man possessed since January. It’s all part of the game and when he returns the question I offer a similarly downbeat assessment. It’s at this point that I take a moment to reflect on the rank absurdity of two middle aged men

downplaying their chances of securing what would turn out to be 77th place in a race that virtually nobody gives a shit about. But that’s not the point and in our minds at least this is bigger than Brownlee v Gomez. It might be a much slower, greyer and more arthritic version of the dynamic duo but that’s not important right now. The battles lines are drawn and it’s game on. As sporting occasions go it doesn’t get much smaller than this.

Swim. Last year – 34:01. This year – 28:10

In last years race I was swimming with the leaders of the wave – sadly it was the wave that started 8 minutes after I did and caught me before I reached the turnaround buoy. I used to wonder why people would get so stressed about being punched, kicked and swam over. It never happened to me because I always started at the back and stayed there. Clear water all around !!

This year was a different matter. After a winter of training in UCD under the tutelage of Kevin Keane I’m a bit more optimistic. So I lined up around half way and took it steady. A few bumps here and there but nothing to worry about. Reaching the pontoon I take a look at the watch – almost 6 minutes quicker than last year. A quick look around tells me that everyone I’ve exited with has the same colour swim cap as me. For the first time ever after the swim I’m in the same post code as the people I started the race with. Get in !! I’ve still a long way to go before I’ll consider myself a swimmer but I couldn’t be happier with that improvement.

Bike. Last year – 1:16. This year – 1:13

I made a hash of this. In an attempt to get as aerodynamic as possible I lowered the bars and elbow pads on the bike as much as I could. Problem was that the lower position restricted my hip movement and I was getting slower as time went on. I covered the first 5 km in 7:40 and I think the last 5 km was a painfully slow 10 minutes. And yes I was expecting to be overtaken by the proverbial little old lady on a Triumph 20 with a dog in the basket. I’ve had the TT bike for over a year now and I’m still not used it. Probably need to get a proper bike fit done. Or maybe a hip replacement. I think it’s cheaper than a bike fit.

Still the club spins on Sundays obviously have paid off and despite my setup problems I still cut 3 minutes off last years time. There is a great sense of camaraderie on the club spins and 4 hours seems to fly by when you’re in a group. I love being on the bike but solo spins can be excruciatingly boring.

Run. Last year – 51:something. This year – 47:40

In all the Olympic distance races I have done my run follows a familiar pattern. Start out steady and run a decent first 5 km and then die on my arse for the second half of the run. I’ve never been sure whether this is due to pushing too hard on the bike or not doing enough run training. Anyway, back in January I joined up with Rathfarnham for the intervals sessions on Tuesday nights. Unfortunately the speed work saw my hip issues resurface so I concentrated on tempo work instead and after PB’s at 5km and 5 mile I was hopeful that I could at least run a consistent 10 km. And so after going through

the first 5 km in 22 something the sun started beating down and I promptly died on my arse yet again. Over 25 minutes for the second 5 km. Consistent 10 km me hoop. And yet it still is about 4 minutes quicker than last year.

Overall. Last year 2:47. This year 2:33

Delighted with the 14 minutes improvement in the space of 12 months and an endorsement (as if I needed it) of the benefits of joining and training with Belpark. I’d stubbornly held out on joining a club over the years in the misguided belief that clubs catered solely for the would-be Olympian, with their svelte-like physique and superhuman levels of fitness. The reality of course is far different. The club environment is friendly and supportive. It also helps that I’m not the only MAMIL !!

I didn’t manage to finish ahead of my arch nemesis. He beat me on transitions. I suppose that’s an area I really need to work on – my transitions strategy. I mean, I should have devised a cunning plan to distract him while I let the air out of his tyres. Or stuck some laxatives in his water bottle while he was putting his wetsuit on. I suppose these are the fine details that you need to work on when you are at the blunt edge of the sport. Anyway I’ll be seeing him again soon enough. There is the small matter of the Dublin 70.3 in August. Does anyone know if you can buy over-the-counter laxatives ?